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From Friends to Lovers: 3 Ways To Know When It's Right to Take The Risk

There are a few good risks in life that pay off quite well. Some of them include investing your money in business, resigning from a cushy day job to plunge into entrepreneurship, and signing on a lease for a store or for residence.

However, nothing is headache-inducing and as heartbreaking as taking the risk of giving up a platonic friend to turn it into a romantic one. After all, money can be recoup should the investing fail, but not exactly the same can be said of friends. Once that line has been crossed, there is really no turning back.

Friendships are culled from years of togetherness, mutual trust and respect and to jeopardize these for something more should be carefully thought of and internalized as friends don’t really come by so easily. So when does one take that proverbial plunge to the unknown? Truthfully, there are no fast truths to this, but here are some guideposts to discern if it’s time to take things to another level:

  • You cannot imagine life without the person
Sure, you have been friends for a long time and regularly speaking to each other is the norm. But do you find yourself thinking about him during the happiest times of your life? It does not always have to be about the big ticket things like promotions or travels, but also in the little daily wins like getting the right dress or safely getting to home after a long night of partying.

Sometimes, we think love is in the grand gestures, but if you find yourself thinking of him and wanting him to share even in the simplest, most mundane, most boring moments of your life, there may be more to explore. And if you trust that he will appreciate it just as much, if not more, then by all means, take that next step already.

  • You value his opinion of your life more than anyone else’s – including your own
Reaching your level of success means you did not take crap from anyone and have a steady head on your shoulders. So letting someone in your key decisions, actually listening, and following what he has to say especially for facets in your life that are integral to your future such as finances and family matters, is not nothing. In fact, you may just found a life partner in your friend – someone whose judgment calls you can rely on and trust will always be for your benefit.


  • You feel jealous
You’re thirty and you’re thriving, but why does your heart hurt when you see your friend have dinner with another woman? You tell yourself that it does not mean anything to you. Yet, you know deep inside that you are willing to give up everything to be the woman across the table, making him laugh. Physically, it’ll hurt and that’s when you know.

But before you make that critical step to romance, please make sure also that you are neither of the two: lonely and on the rebound.

Remember that this person is your friend who will never hurt you and that’s why it’s just fair that you also do not pursue him just because he’s low hanging fruit and you happen to be too lazy to go and find another. In the end, you just might shoot yourself in the foot and lose a friend and a really good partner in the process.

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